I find at the moment that the most destructive state of being is disappointment. The tendency to linger over this. The not-knowing-how-to-shake-it-off, how to leave it behind and move on with life. And of course, there is a “should” in all this, the unhealthiest word of all. The “should” within “I’m too young to feel so disappointed”. I should be happy, cheerful, an optimist, a go-getter, light-hearted or at least unattached to feeling let down sometimes.
Combine this with me feeling the unhappiness of others around me – an added “bonus” for people who tend to absorb whatever goes on in their surroundings. It can take even the most cheerful disposition out of me.
But that’s all looking at it from only one side. That’s staring at one small aspect when there is EVERYTHING. There is so much, and so much good. And this dark gloop is what attaches itself to me and what I am so occupied with that the good cannot get through?!
I feel things in a way sometimes that is much bigger than what’s actually going on. My psyche goes for the grand scale of emotion. And I want to shake it off. Leave this luggage heap behind that never serves me but only holds me back and drags me down. And have a blast instead.
No more disappointment!
Here’s to LIFE.