100 Questions/ 1-10

1. What’s the toughest decision you made today?

To keep going to the best of my abilities, to do the best I can for myself, to live as well as I am able to, despite the things in my life that are painful and that I wish were different.

     2. What’s the toughest decision you made this year?

I asked myself the question whether I would visit my family if one of my older relatives passed away and there was a funeral. And I decided I would not.

     3. What’s the toughest decision you ever made?

To stop protecting others and start taking care of myself. Work in progress.

     4. What have you forgotten?

I wish I had a memory of feeling safe in my mother’s arms. I must have, at some point.

     5. If you were guaranteed the answer to one question, what would it be?

If I could, I’d like to know how some people in my family actually think and feel. I stepped out of the play-acting, the pretending, when I couldn’t bear it anymore. But they’re still there. How deep does it go? What’s going on underneath?

    6. What’s it like being you right now?

At the moment, it’s difficult. July and August are months with many family birthdays, some of which I am so sad to miss, some of which don’t bear thinking about.

    7. What makes you nostalgic?

Snow. I love snow. During my childhood years, we had real winters, and being in a winter forest is magical.

    8. If you had two hours left on earth what would you do?

Call my great-aunt whose birthday I’m missing tomorrow, and tell her I love her and that I’m sorry I’m not with her. I still wouldn’t tell her why. Still protecting people.

    9. What’s the most beautiful word in the world?

At the moment, it’s “saoirse” (Irish, pronounced [ˈsˠiːɾʲʃə]). Freedom.  

    10. Who makes you laugh more than anyone?

A friend of mine, who has Down’s Syndrome, OCD, Autism and often lives with high anxiety. He’s a DJ, a dancer, a prankster and one of the most charming men I know. He’s taught me many times that life being difficult is no reason not to be joyful… 

 

(The questions are taken from this source.)

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