I have no idea what I’ll be writing about, really. What is Leipzig to me?
It’s a recent conversation with a friend about why I’m not in Germany, and why there is the possibility again of returning. Talking of feeling homesick for the country I grew up in, not matter how mixed up any other feelings might be about the place, no matter my thoughts on it either.
Usually, if the conversation comes up, I say that the only place in Germany I could ever be prevailed upon to live in is Berlin.
My friend mentioned that at the moment ‘everyone’ seems to be moving to Leipzig. Everyone being our shared friends/ the wider circle of connected people. Leipzig is closer to where I grew up, more familiar, more relaxed. And from what I hear, it feels like home to many people I know.
We all seem to share the same sense of wanting to settle, wanting to put down roots. No surprise maybe, given that we are all approaching our 30th birthdays…
It seems to become more possible. Slowly maybe, more slowly than I might wish. The dream is with me, and maybe there is a way, somewhere ahead of me.
It’s not just about feeling geographically more settled. I’ve dealt with a hell of a lot emotionally in the last years, quite a number of years. Home is also a hope of settling emotionally. My hearts needs a rest, and a bit more happiness than there has been.
I’ve been in the right place while I was away. No doubt about that. But I get more and more impatient to leave here.
To return would undoubtedly be a huge change. Whatever I decide, I had better be sure of it.
Berlin would be going half-way. Or Hamburg. All nice maybe. But none of them home.
In the end, it seems, Saxony is home… And Leipzig is certainly the most interesting city there (admittedly, there aren’t many cities to choose from).
These things will grow without my doing, and I’ll allow them to unfold if I can…
Just now, I’m not ready yet…