Trigger warning: mention of child abuse
God is breaking us open, so we can breathe and let out the poison, and perhaps, in the end, heal. That is my hope…
Finally, my parents are talking about the abuse. Me and my brother are talking. And me and my mother are talking.
For the first time in all these years, she said, “I’m sorry I did not protect you”.
Until now, everything I heard were accusations against me, and demands that I ‘fix’ this, that I forgive and let it go – without anything having been talked about or processed in any way.
But now, we are talking. Not well, not fluently, struggling to find words, but we are talking.
My sister is not talking to me at the moment, and my brother sent emails I find hard to reply to. But God will help. God is here.
All of this is not in vain. Things have changed, are changing. And I trust that God is in every part of it, and will bless every step from here on.
God will open the way for them and lead them out of exile.
They will break out of the city gates and go free.
Their king, the Lord himself, will lead them out.
I am the gate. Those who come in by me will be saved;
they will come in and go out and find pasture.