Dealing With Father’s Day

I do give thanks for all the good fathers out there, all the men who love and respect their children and themselves, who are compassionate, generous with love and time and conversation, who like to laugh with their children, protect them and learn from them and pass on what they know.

But most of all I pray today for all of us for who this day is a painful reminder of what we don’t have and of why we don’t have it.

I pray for all of us who know from experience what it’s like to lack the support and love, guidance and care of a father.

I pray for all of us who live with the experience of others assuming that difficult family relationship must surely be the fault of children who don’t honour their parents, while we use every ounce of energy we have to protect ourselves from further abuse in that very family, and to heal the consequences of the hurt our family caused us.

I pray for all of us who carry around the contradiction and burden of having a family without having family, of having a father without having a father.

I give thanks that my relationship with God keeps growing and deepening in love, that I feel God’s compassion and care for me, and that I can now relate to God as my ‘Abba’, my dad. This is a bit of a miracle to me, and not a small one. I had a complete block about calling God “father” until a retreat I went on earlier this year, and it feels so good to see that change. There’s so much hope in that for all healing that’s yet to come…

I give thanks for my wonderful friends. These relationships deepen and grow with every year as well, and I’m so thankful for that. It’s such a gift – friendships are places where trust can be learned again, where it becomes a good thing again to be vulnerable with someone else. The slow rebuilt of what was broken. 

Thanks be to God.

Here’s a beautiful article I happened upon today – I found it helpful. Maybe you do too.

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7 Responses to Dealing With Father’s Day

  1. Bonsai says:

    I cried most of Mother’s Day for my own failures as a mother. It is hard to sit in church on such days as the read hear of the mothers who sacrificed so much. Our Pastor threw in a good word for “sub par ” mothers but it was a little too good for me. At least I am forgiven by my Father. The guilt is still a burden to a degree.

  2. Lesa Rose says:

    I am sorry. Although I know my biological father I wasn’t raised by him till my teens. I am glad that you have allowed our Heavenly Father to be your dad, father one you can call ‘Abba’

  3. debiriley says:

    this is a day that can be difficult for so many, Anyushka. I’m glad you are slowly rebuilding what was stolen, so long ago. I don’t know if one ever ‘forgets’ but, I do know, its possible to forgive to move on, for one’s own highest good. I celebrate those who have loving fathers. I celebrate my son in being an awesome dad to his toddler. Extremely Sad, though that so many innocents, see just the opposite of what they should.

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