Somehow, We Hope…

This is a strange week of sadness and celebration. 

We had a ‘gratitude party’ for a friend who was granted asylum after a long dark year of waiting and struggling, several birthdays and a retirement party – oh, and a Rollerdisco….

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But there also is a friend in a lot of distress in hospital; I’m trying to offer company without taking on her feelings myself. But even so it’s hard to see her struggle.

There’s the news in general… Attacks in Jakarta. The whole scary experience of this becoming a regular news item…

David Bowie died.

And I was so sad to hear today that Alan Rickman has died this morning. Also at the age of 69, also of cancer.

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Plus I’ve just read the statement from the Primates’ meeting of the Anglican Communion, and it’s adding a load on the sadness side of the scales as well. Even though I hear different interpretations of it from different people. Who knows what the consequences will be in the end. It doesn’t sound like good news.

So I try to process all the emotional highs and lows that are going on, and me being me it takes a lot of time, often time alone that I don’t have much of at the moment.

The new writing class might help – even though the writing often goes straight into the dark corners, stirring things up. The only way out being found in the way through at times… But there is some choice for me as well in what I’ll engage with and what I’ll let be.

I also booked myself a ‘day away’ at the weekend, to go and take a deep breath elsewhere. It’ll do me good. 

And I’ll see what else I can do for self-care… Music. Prayer. Reading. Chats with friends. A bit of dancing while cooking might be good… A few hugs… (Will it be enough?)

I haven’t been on retreat in a long time. Not really sure where to go. But that would be good some time this year…

It’s really a constant learning curve, all of this. And I get the impression it won’t ever again get less complicated or easier… As long as my resilience and ability to deal with life grow alongside all the complexity, we’ll be okay… All will be well, somehow, we hope…

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