I was leading prayers recently and this verse was on my mind and I couldn’t find it, so I just talked about it from memory. And today, there it was, right in front of me:
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Not the most exciting bird, not the prettiest or rarest. There are thousands like it, and some people find them even annoying… That sounds like a fair description of me and probably of most of us. And it still matters that I’m alive and that I have what I need and God is happy when I’m happy… It’s more peaceful to live knowing that. And it makes a big difference to focus on how God sees me, more than on how other people might see me. Constant love. The one thing that never changes. The one love I can always hold on to, return to, trust, be reminded of, be held in, build on. It’s safe to trust God more than I trust myself. It’s not safe to do that with other people. At least in my experience. Here is stable ground. Here is where I’m willing to be vulnerable, to be myself, because I’m not in danger. I’m not judged, shamed or blamed. I don’t have to protect myself. And I’m not expected to be anyone else than who I am. However small and non-impressive I might be. I live. I exist. So I matter. And God keeps me in the palm of her hand.