Someone just posted on one of the many social networking sites, “Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen”. That doesn’t even give me the hint of a smile. Since when would believing that change a thing? I have little faith in life as such to have many wonderful surprises in store. I really don’t think it does. In my experience it’s about trying to figure out how I’ll be dealing with the next whatever that has come up, and how I can process all the emotional stuff in me and in others around me, and little of that is joy. And fine. If that’s the way it is, fine. And I’ve seen little evidence this year that it’s not like this. And I’m not going to apologise for not sounding all chirpy about life. I’m just not. But I do think it’s still possible to love people well and be thankful for the good there is, and hope that there will be enough good to sustain us from here on. Because that’s the experience – that there is just enough to make it. No abundance. No “wonderful”. Just about “fine”. I’d love to move on from this place, I’d love to say it’s not like that, but that’s where I am. Hi. Reality. I do what I can to make things better but I can’t “fix” this by myself. It’s not been a cheerful year, all in all.