All this time, I’m pushing forward towards something I don’t know. God is the direction in me. Who needs specifics. God resurrected me when I saw nothing worth being alive for anymore. And She created something in me in that moment, when I found that when everything else in me is gone, broken, God is what is left of me. God, whole, unbreakable. There was ground I could stand on. In me. So I stood up, God helped me up. And I let God feed me and take care of me and I took a step. Before then, I wanted to believe. Now I know. This is something no-one can take away from me. I can’t even take it away from myself – it’s there, this experience, the truth of God being the ground I live on. I’ve got God to thank for everything. I know where my life comes from now and I know where it’s going to. I know where I belong.Whatever the specifics are of where I have been, where I’m now and where I’ll be, God is the foundation of me.
I did not learn it in joyful and gentle ways. I learned it in God’s furious loyalty to me. And that I trust.