…is that where we are? Are we enabled to “serve him without fear”, have we been led into the “path of peace” (Luke 1:74 and 79)? And if that’s not how we feel, does that mean that where we’re serving is not in the right place yet, or does it mean we are just looking at it from an unhelpful viewpoint that causes fear, worry etc?
I know I’m not in the right place. But I don’t know yet where the right place would be. And I find this a difficult limbo to hang in. I can’t go back, I can’t go forward. I’m doing what I can to make either an option, but to no success. So here I am. In the wrong place. And I don’t understand why. I very much want to move forward. God seems to have other ideas. Everything takes ages. Everything is difficult. I don’t find answers, I don’t even get to take a step towards it. I make attempts at many things that might help me, but they all are in vain.
So what is this about?
Why am I stuck here?
There must be a reason for it, I’m sure. It would be easier to sit it out if I knew what the reason was.
Any kind of enlightenment would be welcome… I’m on an island and all the boats are gone and there aren’t any trees either, or if I find a tree, I don’t have an axe, and if I have an axe, it breaks while I try to fell the tree…it’s just all going against the wall, every time. Why? Consternation and frustration…!
What am I supposed to do differently? Where’s the blooming door?